stevemarlowe.net

One last thing before I collapse into the fetal position and weep uncontrollably until the sweet relief of dead-weight unconsciousness renders me incapable of thought, speech, or typing.

See that little movie up there?

That vid describes Digging Up The Bones, a book I wrote about insanity, psychedelics, amputation, gay lawyers, and hillbilly sisters who go to Washington, D.C., to shoot Richard Nixon. Using preorders and crowdfunding, the publisher-to-be and I are working to reduce the onerous costs of producing this heartwarming tome. I would like this initiative to be a success, and I’m willing to take measures to that end.

As yet, I don’t see any need to break promises, conduct black-ops, or betray any long-held confidences—but don’t think I won’t, fools. I still have the digital recordings, iPhone video, photo negatives, and a 32GB SD card chock full of snaps showing you-know-what. Surely, there’ll be no need to resort to all that. Let’s avoid any unpleasantness, shall we?

Please, please, please, in the name of all that is good and Holy, point your browser to Digging Up The Bones’ preorder/crowdfunding page. Once there, you’ll need to come up off some loot. It’s not like you’ll spend that money on anything better than me, and certainly not on anything better than my awesome book.

See, e.g., The Parable of The Widow’s Mite
St. Mark 12:41-44, The Holy Bible, King James Version

All that gambling, boozing, and whoring you do. That what you’ll be spending your hard-earned coin on? Really? When there’s fine literature to be had, and read, and what’s more, written, by someone you know and love? You’re a spendthrift and probably need to be in a 12-step program.

What. What? What! Yeah, I said it. So? I’m only trying to help. If we can’t be honest with one another, then what, really, do we have? I think Bill W., AA’s founder, said it best:

…[h]elping Digging Up The Bones meet its funding goal is your 1st step. There is no other. Do that; take your 1st step, go to Digging Up The Bones’ preorder/crowdfunding page. It’s okay if you’re aroused. Many are when they first watch the book trailer. No shame in it. Take a deep breath. That’s right. Pull out your plastic, type any number from 1 to 5, but, really, five—then press zero until your computer beeps for you to quit. That’s how you rebuild. You start there, with Marlowe and Digging Up The Bones. There’ll be plenty time to think about whether you’ve hit bottom while you’re reading…

I couldn’t have put that any better if I’d made the quote up from whole cloth. Anyhow, what I’m saying is ya’ll bes’ come to Jesus, get right with God, and cut me them funds. Just a friendly reminder’s all.

Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: Digging Up The Bones, Writing